With stress, and economic pendulum swings, it is very easy to self-sabotage. Statistics prove that internal stress is the key factor in self-sabotage. More important, we sabotage because we focus on negative aspects; we focus on failure. Research shows that individuals have a fear of failure, but too often the real problem is fear of success. Failure is a manifestation of looking at the past. Our success lies in the future. Self-sabotage is really a form of denial. It also brings up the question of what is versus what can be. To avoid sabotage you must respect YOU and you must view the future. You must learn to love yourself.
Are you going to allow the negative self-talk or are you going to build a better future, brick by brick? There are seven vital techniques to avert sabotage.
1. Self-Talk – Terminate the negative self-talk. Negative behavior and talk stimulates depression and anxiety. You must look in the mirror; understand the positive aspects you provide. Create positive speak, avoid negative terminology, and change your body mechanics. Smile at others and smile at yourself.
2. Failure – Simply avoid it. Do the things you hate to do first. Sabotage stems from individuals believing they will fail if they attempt something uncomfortable. Not true. Failure is learning, creativity, and innovation. Some of our famous ancestors failed and created great things. King, Lincoln, Bell, and others believed they failed, only to have their dreams come true. Stop worrying about failure; it is the best education. However, in order to fail you must confront it head on and remove yourself from the comfort zone. Stop procrastinating today!
3. Positive People – Depression and anxiety manifest when we gather with other negative people. Avert disaster by moving away from those that depress you. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill discusses the power of the Mastermind, small groups that share similar desires educating each other. Move away from those that anger you and befriend those that awaken your dreams, incite your desires, and expose your creativity.
4. Passion – Conviction and love is movement. Passion ignites the mind and the soul. Self-sabotage arrives when you work at a job. Life is too short for employment with organizations that treat you as a liability. Moreover, working for something that you abhor makes you remorseful. Find opportunities that ignite your spirit and provide a sense of purpose.
5. Self-Esteem/Confidence – Self-sabotage requires the elimination of limiting beliefs. What is a limiting belief? Limiting beliefs are those things you believe that place limitations on your abilities. Such beliefs are true and others false, but we use them as a brake to deter us from making what appears impossible, possible. For example, many individuals state, “I do not have proper experience—I will not get the job I want.” Alternatively, others state “I do not have any luck—I will never meet the decision maker.”
The level of experience might be true. Your level of experience and skill might hinder certain jobs but if you do not apply, you do not get the job! If you desire luck, try sitting in a gambling hall. Luck does not create opportunities; experience, aggression, and focus get the decision maker.
Our mind creates limitations from things we experience and habits we form. You must reset your internal GPS to determination, then you set you mind to accomplish anything you desire. Don’t believe it? Determination ended a bloody Civil War, brought a man to the moon and gave us our first African American president! Confidence begins with a belief in YOU!
6. Pleasure – The easiest method for ending self-sabotage is doing pleasurable things. Misery creates company, but pleasure manifests power. Take the time to do things you love to do: listen to music, read a book, take a walk. Scientists have proved that our mind requires rest. Thinking of negative issues and limiting beliefs creates energy and polarizes our thinking. Conducting pleasurable activities produces endorphins in the brain that relax the mind and decrease our breathing and heart rate.
7. Action – The difference between “fortunate” and insignificant individuals: they take action. Self-sabotage is embodied from habits. Detaching habits takes time: 21 days exactly. If you truly desire change then you must take actionable steps to eliminate your self-sabotage. Set timeframes that are reasonable.
Creating a toned and symmetrical body takes time and energy. You cannot go to the gymnasium once and expect a favorable result. Change takes time, effort, and, most important, discomfort. Get out of your comfort zone, indulge in (good) pain, and eradicate self-sabotage forever!
© Drew J. Stevens Ph.D. All rights reserved.