Handling sales objections: outrageous closing lines

By Geoff Alexander, Inside Sales Telesales Tips Blog

This week many of my customers are in “shut down” mode as people take vacations. So instead of giving my usual sales techniques tips, today’s post is about a couple of funny responses to objections from my past. Read ahead, and share your own classic objection handling lines with the blog.

“If I had your money, I’d burn mine.” I worked with Tim Mattis at the 2001 Dating Service, my first real sales job, where we put lots of nice folks together in the pre-internet dating era. It was commission only, and people would walk in to talk with Tim and I, who were the only salespeople. For $420 a year, each person would receive a monthly envelope with 6 “matches,” consisting of a photo and a little background on the person. When a potential customer objected to the price, Tim would respond: “Oh come on, Jim, if I had your money, I’d burn mine.”

“It’s so easy to use, even Ray Charles could do it!” Vince Amodeo was my sales manager at Modern Office Machines, where I sold photocopiers, coincidentally my next sales job after the dating service. Many of our sales were made by placing a copier for evaluation at a customer site, training the people to use it, and letting it stay there for a week. We closed 90% of our business that way. Occasionally, someone would voice the concern that the controls were difficult to use, and Vince would get a big smile on his face, hold up his hands, and say “This is so easy to use, even Ray Charles could do it!”

Now these are two techniques I DON’T teach in my telesales training course, but when I sit around with other salespeople and have a beer or two, we end up talking about outrageous closing lines we’ve heard, and these are the two I usually bring up. What are yours?

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